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I'm on a quest to discover who am I and who I want to be. I'm here to help keep my friends motivated on their path to recovery... a path that I'm on as well :)

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

HUMP DAY!!! a vital day in my week I might add. :P

Hey all!! Happy Wednesday!! (HUMP DAY)

Posting again from school, hehe woooo, so sorry, no pics taken by me again!!

Well, I'm happy to report I'm doing much better then I was in my last post :).. I really hate writing posts that I feel at the TOTAL opposite of inspiring. I was even considering deleting it.. but then I felt like some how I would be lying or something. Idk it just felt like the wrong thing to do.. the right thing is to move past it and write about the positive things that are going on right now!

I've been challenging my food fears and rules as often as possible, and have been meeting my meal plan as well :D One food i've been trying to let myself have at home that I don't usually allow (well ED doesn't) is TURKISH FIGS!!! (pic from google)

YUM!! talk about natures candy.. they are soo good, and really satify a sweet craving! I feel guilty eating them, however, because for little things, their cals are a bit high.. (ED says) so its something that I haven't had in a longgg time. I did let myself have them in PARIS though, along with other foods.. which is why I think i'm more able to incorporate them now. If I did it then and nothing happened, I can do it now, right?? heck yes. HECK. YES. Just like I got over my banana rule, figs are now a rule of the past, and a food that I try to incorporate daily. I've also let another two long lost friend back into my life.. WHOLE WHEAT ENGLISH MUFFINS and FAT FREE COTTAGE CHEESE! (pictures from google)

yum :) love them.. and haven't let myself have them since I got out of Renfrew this time last year! So yes, basically, rekindling romances with long lost foods has been the current theme of my week.

I have a Nutrition appt. today, and i'm excited to report back with all my mini accomplishments.. however.. I may leave out the exercise portion.. don't wana start a fight because that will cancel out all the work that I HAVE put in to recovery this week. lol I know.. not the best idea.. I am still struggling a bit with over exercising.. but I did much less yesterday then in my last post, and I'm going to try to not run as much today.

The other day, when I posted, I felt soo guilty for doing all of that exercise.. and then some.. but even more guilty for posting it on my blog! For me, I read blogs that help keep me motivating, not the ones that constantly talk about how awful they are doing. However, that doesn't mean I don't read blogs of people struggling so I can offer support, or to feel comfort that other people aren't perfect in their recovery as well.. I just can't read them all the time. Anyway, I also felt soo awful because a couple of my friends at the gym were really worried about me. I hate that :( Especially since they way they express worry is through anger. I don't want to keep letting people down.. so I really need to work harder to do the right things from day to day!

I'm trying to think positive and keep moving forwards. I hate encountering stupid little bumps in the road, but if they didn't happen, you wouldn't grow or learn from the experience.

Hope everyone has a positive day!! Challenge yourself, you'll feel soo great about it latter on!! (although you may be anxious today, you will be proud of yourself tomorrow :D )

-A <3

1 comment:

  1. Proud of you girl. Keep pushing forward. I love all those foods you are now allowing yourself :)