About Me

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I'm on a quest to discover who am I and who I want to be. I'm here to help keep my friends motivated on their path to recovery... a path that I'm on as well :)

Monday, December 13, 2010

Rising up from the dead? No, but that would be a good excuse for my lack of posting, ay? :P

Hey Everyone!!!!
Long time no speak, I know.. my sincere apologies!!!!

:D :) :D :) :D :) :D <---- I'll make up for it with a bunch of happy smile faces!!!!

All better??? I think so.. smiles fix everything.. :P

I'll start out with some "looks"... sound good??
(From head to toe).. Yellow slouchy hat ( almost like a beret ... but not quite) with a low side poneytail, Dangle-y pink crystal earring from Paris, Army green military style jacket (not pictured in two of the pics), Blue and white stripped tunic from Urban, Gold bangle and gold bracelet, black leggings, black boots.

This is actually going to be a bit of a short post because I have to get ready for work.. but I really wanted to make a post to tell you that I AM still interested in blogging, I just haven't had time in the past couple months!!! I really appreciate all of my followers sticking by even with my lack of posting.. and i'd like to give a big WELCOME to all my new followers!!!!! Thanks everyone for reading my blog, and I promise you will have more interesting posts coming up this month!!! <3

Another set of "looks" pics... i've got lots from the months that I haven't been blogging!! haha These next set of pics are going to be done in a diff way. I took one look and have two sets of pics showing how you can pair it with ONE different thing, but totally change the feel of the look.

First look, Style 1: Brown headband w/ small bow on the side, side messy braid, small gold hoop earrings, crystal and gold necklace that I never take off, Army colored military style jacket (shown in look above as well), floral dress from Urban, black sports bra, gold bracelets, black leggings, black clogs.

Second look, Style 2: Brown headband w/ small bow on the side, side messy braid, small gold hoop earrings, crystal and gold necklace that I never take off, Slate colored cardi from J crew, floral dress from Urban, black sports bra, gold bracelets, black leggings, black clogs.

Pairing the look w/ a light colored cardi gives it a more "feminine soft feel", as appose to the military style jacket, which was a more "edgy look.".... Little style tip for you all!! haha

Alright, I've got picture overload going on, so i'll save some other pics for the next post.... except.. look at my cat in this pic!!

... she shows up in SO MANY of my pics.. one day i'm going to do a post w/ all the pics shes gotten into.. its so cute!!

Ok i'm done. haha

So, anyway. brief recap on me before I'm totally late to work!!

" Sorry I'm late for work, I was blogging!!"... not the best excuse.. :P

Alright, well, things have been very different in terms of the "ED world" I live in. My last couple posts I was struggling, but starting to get back on track.. and then I GOT on track, WOO!!!! (for the most part) Would you like a list of things that are going better?? OK!!

1. MY exercise is OFFICIALLY under control!!! I work out 1 to 3 times A WEEK!!!! Last week I only worked out one day, and it was a 45 min run.. thats it!! yay me!!! haha

2. Peanut butter has been a fear food for me for YEARS.. but I decided to tackle that fear, and have now been eating DARK CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER (from pb and co) EVERY MORNING for breakfast.. along with OATMEAL, which was a fear food as well!! ( don't ask me why.. haha) I also have been having the cinnamon raisin pb at lunch... and many other fear foods! :)

3. I've been trying to be more social and eat more meals with people!.. I was doing a lot better w/ this a couple weeks ago.. but schedules have been busy, and its been kind of hard to get together with people.. but I'm still trying and working on being social!

4. I've been food shopping ON MY OWN!! For about 2 years, or 1.5, i've been food shopping w/ my N because I couldn't be trusted to get food on my own, and because when I would go w/ my mom it would be a lot of drama.. and well.. long story short, I really needed to go w/ her, and now I can go on my own!! YEEP!

5. I'VE STOPPED CALORIE COUNTING!!!... I use to write in a food journal EVERY DAY.. ie. time I ate, food I ate, amount, calories, exchange, what I drank, if I had appointments that day, when I went to bed, how much I exercised... IT WAS SUCH A PAIN IN THE BUTT!!!... so I decided to nix ALL of it, and do my best to eat a few healthy meals during the day, keep a mental tally of a round about guess to where my cals were to make sure i'm on track.. but NO WRITING ANYTHING DOWN. Its been great, really freeing :)

I attribute a lot of this to the fact that i've been so busy with working and babysitting... its kept my mind in a healthy place and more present.. so i'm not always stuck in my head and focusing on ED thoughts.

HOWEVER.. while all those things are going well.. I'm still not in the best place health/ weight wise.. and sadly, did fake my weight at my last DR appt last week. Things really have been going well in most aspects of life.. but I think that not calorie counting (while it is a good thing) has also been a negative thing in terms of me getting in enough through out the day. Its such a hard balance!!! I really want to be in a place that I can eat the right amount and not keep track of cals.. I'm just not sure that i'm in that place yet :/ ... but i'm going to keep working on it!!! I feel like i'm in such a better spot then I've been in years.. however the urge to lose weight is still there.. so its something i've been trying to fight off EVERY minute of EVERY day.. but I keep thinking of the life I want.. and having an ED won't get me there, so I can't give in to temptation.. It will be worth the fight in the end!!!!

I hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving, I'll post about that in my next post, as well as a HAPPY Hanukkah ( or any other holiday you many celebrate that has already passed).. and its getting ready for a very MERRY Christmas!!!

Be happy, Be healthy, and LIVE in the moment!! Everyone always lives for the future.. whats happening in an hour, whats happening tomorrow, when will it be friday, when will it be monday, whats happening next week, next month, next year... what about whats happening this moment?? Stop thinking about whats going to happen and focus on NOW, because you only have that moment for a SECOND.. and life passes by too fast, you don't want to miss it!!!

Have a great day and happy monday!!!!
-A <3


  1. So glad to see you're back to posting! Stay strong love, it sounds like you've made some great progress.

  2. love your clothes... and who could be scared of oats? Its a beautiful thing :)

  3. I lovelovelovelovelove your style!! I wish you could be my stylist :) I'm so happy that you were able to cut down on exercising! That is a HUGE achievement, and shouldn't be minimized by your other struggles with weight. I mean, obviously that is important, but I'm all for celebrating the positive of the day/week :)

  4. I am SO glad to hear from you! And hearing tou so energetic and happy brings me so much joy :)

    I am so proud of you for how well you are doing :) I know it is hard but it is more than worth it! Seriously, it makes me SO happy to hear that you got your exercise under control and that you are doing well <3

    Stay strong! Love ya,


  5. Your so pretty :) I am a new follower too! xx

  6. This post made me so happy. Go get life, girl! you have amazing potential and you are so inspirational and strong! You're doing such an amazing job with all the aspects of your life. When you stop counting calories, it does get hard to know when you're maintaining or not but you'll get there! I know you will! You are brilliant and amazing, and I am so SO proud of you. =)

    Yay for peanut butter! =)


  7. this post was WONDERFUL to read. I AM SO HAPPY!!!!! and don't feel bad about not blogging for such a long time. look at the progress you've made!
    congratulations on stopping the calorie counting (or at least the obsessive way.) i know this is a huge step! and it will balance out in the end. you will find a peaceful way to live without counting and still maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle. i KNOW you can do it. look at what you've done so far! reducing your exercise, stopping calorie counting. YOU ARE GOING TO KICK ED IN THE ASS! you are going to do beat this. and you are going to have a FABULOUS and HEALTHY life. i have so much hope and joy for you.

    ps. working has helped me too. it gives me a reason to, you know, fuel myself so i can preform accordingly and please my bosses. also im interacting with some many non-ed people, its been so good and helpful. it gives me purpose and shows me life outside of food and weight, etc. i love working!

    keep up the good work and i KNOW you will overcome everything that has set you back so you can be the person you TRULY are (which is amazing, wondering, and inspiring, - not to mention beautiful inside and out).

  8. Hey girl,

    I am supa proud of all your hard work, but I'm very sad that it's been so looonnnngggg since you posted! Come back!!!


  9. Hi, I have been recovering from a severe eating disorder since august, and I would just like to tell you please start now before shit gets bad, youre gorgeous, beautiful calves, healthy hair, amazing skin... i never thought I was fat I just thought eating anything besides sushi, cottage cheese, fish, veggies, or fruit was bad and i dropped to 90 lbs.. im 5'10'' yea real bad.. and i seriously fucked my body up. Stop running, start lifting, and start eating... good luck, i wish you health and happiness!