HEY ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for such long gaps in the posts i've been making!!
So as promised, here are BUNCHES of pictures from the prom.. which was on MAY 15 at the Please Touch Museum.
I had a lot of fun.. and loved seeing everyone all dressed up! Everyone look SOOOO amazing. I really hate to say this though... but I think prom triggered me a little and caused a bit of a lapse. I felt HUGE in my dress.. and I felt I looked HUGE in the pictures.. and idk, it made me want to lose weight. BUT.. i'm trying to put that behind me and focus on getting my weight back up and getting back on track!!! so, anyway, here are A BUTT LOAD OF PICS.
and a couple more... lol this is the last of them, promise :)
alright. so that was prom! haha. now on to the rest of my life.
so the search for a therapist is still one. I've see one so far, and i'm seeing another one tomorrow, and idk about when i'm seeing the next. Man I hate these "first" appointments... they all ask the same questions, and you just have to keep talking about yourself OVER and OVER.. HATE IT!! but.. if thats what it takes to find someone who can help me, I guess its worth it.. right??? yeah.
I went FULL OUT shopping the other day.. got lots of great summer things from Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, Victorias Secret, and Macys. Can't wait to show you some of the things in my "looks" pictures. Speaking of looks, here are a few pics of a couple outfits I wore last week...
wow..this post is JAM PACKED with pics.. it makes me feel like people might think i'm obsessed with myself.. please don't.. because IM NOT!!!! just putting that out there... lol.
hm, so what else is going on with my life??? Well, as I said in my last post, I stopped seeing my N.... but now I MAY be going back to her.. or someone else. My mom has noticed my recent slip in weight, and while I don't think the amount is that big of a deal, she is FREAKING out, and wants me to see my N ASAP. So.. we'll see. Idk.. I still don't think I need to see a nutritionist anymore... I mean I know what I need to eat, i'm just having trouble EATING it.. but an N can't help you eat, they just tell you what to do. Idk. I guess i'm kinda confused with whats going on with me right now. I feel really HAPPY, not depressed at all.. and I don't really feel like i'm relapsing.. but i'm losing weight and reverting to old habits.. so am I relapsing, or is it a lapse?? but HOW can I be relapsing if I feel HAPPY????? This doesn't make sense to me. Everyone around me is freaking out and saying I need to go back to treatment.. and its really throwing me for a loop! Are people seeing something I don't?? or are they just overly concerned. These are some things I have to figure out.. and soon.. because i'm already losing people. My one friend txted me saying we can't be friends until i'm better because she doesn't want to be around me at this weight... YEAH. harsh. It bothers me because this isn't even a low weight! Its not like i'm really sick.. just struggling a little, and instead of people helping me through this, they are leaving me on the side of the road to find my way home. How is that helpful? How is that supportive? Its not. And its frustrating because I WANT to be ED free, and I see my self getting to a place that I'll be able to achieve it.. but I need HELP, and I don't understand why when I need help the most, everyone abandons me. I guess recovery is something you need to DO for yourself, but it doesn't have to be BY yourself does it? Alone or not, I know I can do this, I just need to try a bit harder to increase my cals back to a healthy number. I did stop exercising as much.. ONE HURDLE JUMPED, now I just have a few more in the way and I totally win the race!!!... ok.. stupid analogy.. but w/e. :P
I WANT TO SEE SEX AND THE CITY 2!!!!!!! Anyone else want to see that?? I think i'm going to see that sometime this week.. so pumped!! ( random tid bit)
OH!!!.. so my senior project presentation is tomorrow... YIKES!!!!!!! it has to be a 15 min long presentation.. and if you don't pass, you cant graduate!! thats a lot of pressure!!! But they want you to pass, so its not like they are out to get the students.. so hopefully i'll do fine.. but i'm still nervous!!!! :o
Alrighty everyone, i'm gonna peace out... but I hope you all have a FABULOUS tuesday, and had a great Memorial day and weekend!!!!!!!!!
Enjoy the weather, and the fact that today is a new day, your mistakes are behind you and its time to start a new!!!!!!